


Porn 101

by kleine_aster



Category: Batman (Comics)
Genre: Grinding, M/M, Porn Parody, Porn Watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-25
Updated: 2013-09-25
Packaged: 2017-12-27 14:38:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/980078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kleine_aster/pseuds/kleine_aster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dick discovers superhero-themed porn. Jason lends him a hand.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Porn 101

**Author's Note:**

> I mainly wrote this to come up with horrible porn names/dialogue, so there’s a ton of that XD Idk somehow I always think that Dick would love to play the perky innocent when he’s around Jason. Written for the [DC kink meme](http://dc-kink.livejournal.com/).

He’s about to hit the shower when a bunch of really strange noises and voices draw him to the living room.  
  
"That’s it, little chum, hold on to my Bat-rope! Hold on tight! You’re almost there!"  
  
"Aah, b-but Batman, I-I’m not sure I can take it. Your Bat-rope is  _so long_!”  
  
Jason pokes his head through the living room door. “What the –”  
  
” _Don’t come in!_ " Dick squeaks, while he tries to bury the computer keyboard underneath multiple Kleenex. "I’m dealing with a spill!"  
  
On the screen, a twink dressed in bright colors is wrestling with the monstrous trouser snake of a cowled bear-type in dark leather, which, after hearing the dialogue, comes as a surprise to no-one.  
  
Jason puts his hands on his hips in mock indignance, but takes in the sight of Dick in his glorious form-fitting training pants anyway, while he frantically bends over the keyboard.  
  
"A spill?" He inquires. "Wait, were you just jerkin’ it to that?"  
  
"What?! No!" Dick turns around to shoot him a scandalized look, but the soft blush on his cheekbones is very charming. "This is  _milk_! I was about to make cereal, when …”  
  
He gestures helplessly toward the screen, where the panty-clad prettyboy is now moaning while he’s being bent over on a very unconvincing rooftop.  
  
Dick frowns at Jason, though not in earnest, and points at the mess of Kleenex and white liquid. “ _Please_  tell me you can tell the difference between milk and … the other stuff? Also, have you  _ever_  seen me, or anyone, produce  _this_  amount?”  
  
Jason shrugs. “Depends on daily form, doesn’t it?” He quips. He doesn’t mind getting scolded;  _he’s_  not the one watching weird-ass vigilante porn at 8 am in the morning. Grinning, he shuffles closer, only in his boxers, and parks his chin on the smaller man’s shoulder. He ignores the Robin lookalike getting fucked through a Styrofoam wall by his huge companion, and studies the clip’s title.  
  
"What possessed you to click a link called  _Badman and Gropin’ – Hotass Pursuit_?”  
  
Dick lets out a light, fluttery laugh, and leans into him. He smells like sunscreen and fresh sweat, and his back is firm and warm against Jason’s skin. “Same thing that makes me hurl myself off of tall buildings?” He speculates. “Lack of foresight, and low risk awareness?”  
  
"Eh, ‘s not that bad," Jason comments, and finds to his pleasant surprise that Dick lets him wrap his arms around his waist. This thing of theirs is still new, and sometimes fickle. "The ‘stache on Badman’s a little much, but that dude playing you is pretty cute."  
  
” _Me_?” Dick’s hair brushes against his face when he turns to raise a brow at him. “Same costume, pal. That might as well be  _you_. It’s not like the filmmakers did  _that_  much research.”  
  
"Nope," Jason growls next to Dick’s ear with a knowing smirk. "Look how far above his head his legs are. That’s definitely  _you_.”  
  
"Aren’t you the expert," Dick mutters, but Jason feels his breath hitch when his fingertips ghost across the strip of bare stomach peeking out of his t-shirt.  
  
"I should be," he admits. "Saw the whole series like, ages ago. That one’s tame, though. Oh hey, did you already get to the one where Gropin’ and Pluggirl take on Ass al Ghul and his League of Strap-On-Wearing Minions? ‘cause that one’s  _insane_  -“  
  
He’s interrupted when Dick pipes, “… this is a series?!”  
  
After a pause, he adds, “Pluggirl?!”, as if he’s offended on all the Batgirls’ behalf.  
  
And when Jason stops running his fingers over his skin to give him a baffled look, he shrugs and says, “I don’t really watch a lot of porn.”  
  
Jason stares at his handsome, clueless face. In pretty much any other man, he’d identify that as a lie, but he’s been with him long enough to know that he really  _can_  be that aggressively wholesome. Extremely sensual, really responsive,  _crazy_  flexible, but very, very … pure.  
  
Also, in Jason’s mind, what do you need porn for when you’re Dick Grayson and can look at yourself naked in the mirror.  
  
Dick flinches when the speakers blare “Here it comes!  _Get ready for my Bat-swarm!_ ”, which prompts him to warily eye the screen again.  
  
"Holy desecration, did he really just say that," he mumbles, and then, "Hoo boy, that  _is_  a lot.”  
  
Jason shakes his head at him. “You poor sweet soul,” he says, because he’s always wanted to say something like that to Dick. Then he lets go of him, plops down in the computer chair, and slaps his broad thighs in invitation. “You have  _so much_  to learn. Here, let me show you the way.”  
  
For a second, he thinks Dick won’t go for it. But then, he comes to sit on his lap, as limber as a cat, and Jason feels his formidable ass pressed against him through plain, soft cotton. Dick wiggles on top of him as he reaches over to grab his coffee mug, curious eyes fixed on the screen which is now frozen on Gropin’s expressive o-face with an offer to replay.  
  
"No spilling," Jason warns him, a husky scratch in his voice, before he goes to related videos.  
  
Dick sits upright and attentive in his lap, body controlled like a ballerina. And when the new vid pops up, he reads the title out loud, which is about the greatest thing Jason has ever experienced outside of having sex with him.  
  
"Tightwing: Under The Red Hood," Dick recites. "Wait, why is it Tightw- oh  _come on_.”  
  
When Jason chuckles, Dick turns around to give him another sharp look, which is sexier than he seems to realize. “How come  _you_  don’t get a creepy porn name?” He complains.  
  
"Dude." Jason pinches his sides. " _The Red Hood_. Think about it. I thought you were good at puns ‘n shit.”  
  
Dick mulls that over for a second, then groans. “Right, my bad,” he says, and turns his attention back to the movie. They watch in silence while Tightwing “interrogates” a random thug by energetically bouncing on his huge cock.  
  
Dick is staring at the screen while Jason is staring at him. He can’t really tell what he’s thinking, if he’s offended, or grossed out or, or turned on or –  
  
"Y’know, I should maybe try that," he suddenly says. "I mean, look at him. He’s got the info he wanted,  _and_  like a half a dozen DNA samples. He’s good.”  
  
"Not as good as the original," Jason feels compelled to say. Then he blushes. What a lame thing to do, showing him his porno double and then dropping clumsy come-ons while they watch him bang a bunch of dudes.  
  
Dick laughs breezily, and grinds down on Jason in a way that reminds him that just because he’s pure, he’s not  _innocent_.  
  
"No-one is," he purrs.  
  
And then, he makes Jason moan softly when he shifts excitedly on his lap. “Oh, there’s Red Hood! What’s he gonna d- oh, right. Of course he’s gonna do  _that_.”  
  
Underneath him, Jason is sweating bullets. He’s breathing fast. It’s less the cheesy porn flick they’re watching – Jason has already gotten off hard to it, been there, done that, and the scene where Red Hood sucks off a busload full of ganglords is his least favorite, anyway – and more the reality of Dick’s sweet weight and warmth in his lap, his smell, the small noises he makes as he appraises the action. It’s the morning after, so they’ll have to part soon, and with the life they lead, sometimes they don’t see each other for weeks. And he wants it at least one last time before that, he wants him one more time before he’ll be gone again for who knows how long. He wants a taste that’ll linger on his tongue and a scent that’ll linger in his sheets; something that’ll tide him over. It’s a raw kind of greed that makes his fingers and his cock itch, but he doesn’t know how to voice it, so he keeps his mouth shut and lets him watch the fucking porno.  
  
Dick softly hums to himself, eyes twinkling; something about seeing the Red Hood take multiple cocks to the face seems to really appeal to him. By now, he can’t possibly  _not_  notice Jason’s mad hard-on throbbing against his ass, but he makes no effort to give it attention. Instead, he puts a tentative finger against his lips, and makes, “Mmm. You didn’t  _really_  finance your criminal empire by servicing all those gentlemen, did you? You can tell me.” He nudges him playfully. “No judgements.”  
  
He chuckles when Jason lets out a low growl. “Dick, seriously, stop paying attention to the plot.”  
  
"Okay," he acquiesces, but then he makes Jason squirm some more when he eagerly asks, "But when are Tightwing and the Red Hood going to do stuff with each other? That’s coming, right?"  
  
"Oh, that’s coming," Jason mutters in a choked voice. His cock squeezes against Dick’s backside when he leans over to click the next clip.  
  
That’s the best scene, the big blowout between Red Hood and Tightwing in that abanonded factory. It starts with a really dorky, clothes-ripping “fight scene”, but quickly turns into a twenty-minute fuckfest, and he has to admit he kinda digs that.  
  
"I don’t think that’s how you use a gun," Dick points out, but then he starts to almost -  _almost_  - absent-mindedly gyrate on Jason’s cock, as if he  _wants_  him to go insane.  
  
"You, uh." He swallows, feeling light-hearted, probably because his last blood reserves are deserting his brain. "You  _can_  do that with a gun, though…”  
  
"Yeah, but with the safety off?" Dick clicks his tongue. "Those two seem very  _very_  irresponsible.”  
  
"Th-those are  _toys_ , Dick.”  
  
"Oh, I know."  
  
Jason groans. This innocent act is pushing all kinds of buttons he hadn’t even known he had. He finally can’t hold out anymore, slides his fingers down the front of Dick’s training pants to check out what’s happening, and then groans again when he finds out. Few things feel better than a nice, warm, rigid cock pressing itself against his palm through a thin layer of cotton. Dick stirs on his lap. His blue eyes stay fixed on the computer screen, but when Jason rubs his thumb over his tip, he draws a deep breath, and a small wet spot starts to darken the fabric.  
  
He wants nothing more than for Dick to turn around and make the fuck out with him, but he seems too immersed in the scene that plays out in front of them.  
  
"Not this time, Red Hood! I will punish you for your evil deeds!"  
  
"You know, he keeps  _saying_  that,” Dick remarks, while he’s now full-on riding him, getting him off through his boxers, “But it seems to me like he’s  _rewarding_  him. I mean look at Hood, he doesn’t look sorry  _at all_.”  
  
"You bastard," Jason gasps, shuddering beneath him. And when Dick chirps, "Who, me?", he yanks him around by his hair and pushes his greedy lips on him. The other man gives in to him, Jason can feel his tongue melt into his mouth, hotly, passionately, and for a moment, their moans almost drown out the ones coming from the speakers, until Dick pulls back.  
  
"Hold up, I need to know how it ends!"  
  
The younger man lets out a soft whimper. “They both  _come_ ,” he wails.  
  
"Yeah." Dick gives him a friendly pat on his ailing boner, but then he at least grabs it, frees it from the boxers, and adjusts it against his ass to accommodate it better, "But  _how_?”  
  
Jason barely pays attention to what the hell’s happening on screen anymore. Truth be told, they could be watching a clip of  _The Price Is Right_  and he’d be begging Dick to keep grinding him raw. The movie doesn’t last long anymore, and neither does he. Dick dutifully watches it to the end while he drives him to a loud, violent climax without even looking.  
  
"Phew, what a mess!" He exclaims once the screen freezes again. It’s not clear whether he means the porno, or the sogging Kleenex on the keyboard, or Jason sagging in the chair underneath him, panting while his hot seed trickles down Dick’s immaculate skin.  
  
He hears him purr when he dibs a somewhat confused kiss on his neck. Dick looks smug, but he’s also still hard, his red-hot, willing erection emerging from the waistband of his pants. He shivers when Jason gives it a gentle tug.  
  
"So, hey." Dick turns around to him. "I was wondering, is there, uh … is there stuff with Superman in it?"  
  
His cheeks turn red, and he’s back to looking coy and slightly embarrassed and really eager again, and it looks great on him.  
  
Jason grins. “You innocent,” he chirps, sliding his fingers around Dick’s shaft while operating the mouse with the other, “Let me fix you up.”


End file.
